The Cheekat

It seems when we think of someone that we want in our lives we have something in mind before we meet them. It’s this idea that they’ll be someone we already know. So maybe you like people that are honest. Why do you like being around honesty? Seems obvious, but I sure could think of some times that it might be good to have a guy that’s totally full of shit. For me I think it’s because we’ve had positive experience with that trait. You know your dad was good guy told you about the world. You’ve had good constructive relationships (in your opinion) with people that were honest with you. It helps you to reinforce your confidence in knowing the reality of the situation around you.
So what are the most popular character traits people like in other people? I don’t know, but I have guesses.

1. Hard Working: Damn it this is America. We work for what we got. Nothing is revered more by our corporate leaders than a good busy bee. Plus the politicians are always stroking us telling us how hard working we are. Nobody likes a lazy person. I must contend though a really hard working dickhead ends up owning Exxon, so is it really something we need more of?

2. Intelligent: I rather like this one, and I think it speaks for itself. No one likes talking to an idiot about anything. Like when I see people rage over drive thru people. There f’kn drive through workers, this isn’t Wall Street investing.

3. Responsible: A boring trait, but still good to have. Still I don’t buy the hype. Responsible for what exactly? Is this an expectation? I see so many people piling shit onto their responsibility plate, without even thinking about it. Can you really be responsible for that?

Anyway I set out recently to find character traits that are deeply unappreciated in our modern times. Now some of you might say that these things aren’t known character traits.

1. Compassion: No one gives a shit about anyone else anymore. Sure you love your father, mother, daughter, and friends, but what about the rest of the world? Homeless people on the streets are looked down on. Immigrants are treated like sub-humans by the majority. The Middle and upper classes rarely even engage with the lower classes expect for services rendered. Does anyone believe this is a compassionate culture? I don’t even hear the word ever in the media. It’s like its ancient Greek or something.

2. Class: It’s under-appreciated today. I love a Classy woman, and there’s nobody more fun to drink with that a classy guy. Guy’s just a class act, he makes everyone feel welcome, doesn’t talk down on people, holds himself in high respect.

3. Integrity: How many people don’t even think for a second if the shit they believe is anywhere in the ballpark of how they act. Its one thing to praise a lifestyle, but to live in such contradiction to one’s own worldview must cost this country millions in prescription drug pills. Now I know we’re all hypocrites in one fashion or another, but we can limit that to just stuff we’re not aware of yet.

4. Renaissance man: This one’s close to my heart, because I strive to be one. Why are people so limited in the things they think they can do? What happened to Variety is the spice of life? Dominos vs. Pizza Hut is not where I was going with that. Let’s see I own businesses, I play drums, Bass guitar, I’m a pretty good cook, I love horticulture, and I study philosophy. I could on, but come on people there’s more out there. Get into it. Anything you think you could do you can. Now it might not be pretty at first, but that’s ok. That’s culture that’s how it gets passed down. Besides knowing about a broad array of things makes a good conversationalist, and many consider that classy.

5. Subtle: Here’s the one that got this whole idea rolling around in my head. Taoists folks are always talking about the “subtle nature of the Tao”. And The Buddha is often times said to be “working in a subtle fashion”. I considered the idea of working in more subtle ways. I think this could be a practice for right action/speech. In the respect that something said or done with too much force or in too much of an obvious manner may be me getting ahead of myself trying to force a reality. To tread lightly along not damaging anything because of my unawareness of it. It’s funny when I think of someone operating in a subtle fashion, I think of the woman lightly touching you, or when an old man winks at kid when no one else is looking. It’s this unspoken bond. We know something we can’t say, but I thought I’d share it anyway. The opening of doors and nodding to people you don’t even know in your presence. All these recognitions of solidarity. I know you’re with me right now. You might think you don’t matter to me, but you do.

Just as I tire of attempting to attract hummingbirds one shows himself 10 ft. from me. As soon as I stop thinking about doing something for no reason I do things for unknown reasons. Validity can only be confirmed in the present. My intellect takes care of the small stuff, logistics and the sort. The big issues require a more subtle approach. More attuned to the waviness of things. In an attempt to not conceptualize one’s better attributes I cannot allow myself to “think” about it. Compassion is not contrived; it unfolds like a rose bud.

Courtesy: Cheekat